Recurrence
by itsbeen20years
Summary: They thought they had moved on from their relationship - until they met again by coincidence. /A seasonal fic leading up to NYE, three chapters, cozy sweaters, mutual pining, rumours, a coffee shop, eggnog and some more clichés.
1. Chapter 1

My beta reader worked her magic. Less mistakes! But the text editor is killing me... Are there any tricks?

* * *

**1 - October**

The year slowly began to reach its end. It was October; the wind that came from the sea was cold.

Kai was in Brighton, selling his grandfather's company, or at least the parts of it that he didn't want to keep - which meant most of it. It had kept him busy for almost a year now, but slowly he was approaching the finish line. In Brighton, Soichiro, and therefore he, owned a few houses that he would now give to nonprofits as he had no use for them anyway. He enjoyed being away from London for a few days. It was nice to forget about his studies for a bit, even though he still had to deal with business. His weekly call with Takao took place nevertheless; it was close to impossible to cancel it, which was fine with him nevertheless. He wouldn't admit it, but he liked hearing the voice of one of his best friends on a regular basis, especially throughout the last year.

Today, Takao had told him that Mao was pregnant. He was happy for her and Rei, they had been trying for a while. It also was a nice reminder that some things, some relationships, just worked out. He hadn't been lucky on that matter in the recent past, but right now he was okay. Still, memories linger.

Takao didn't believe him, though. He had repeatedly asked him if he finally was dating again. No, he wasn't, wasn't planning to. How should he even do that with his schedule?

Yuriy, however, was seeing a model named Inés Alvarez for three months now. Kai knew her. She had worked with Yuriy for one of his projects a few years back. At times, their relationship was all over Kai's social media feed because she kept tagging the redhead in numerous snapshots. It didn't cause him pain, not anymore. He was okay with that, otherwise he would have blocked his ex-boyfriend a long time ago.

So whatever Takao might think, Kai was just fine.

He was fine until the evening of that particular day, when he was strolling through Brighton, looking for a place to eat before heading back to the hotel. It was dark already, so his gaze was immediately drawn to one of the few store windows that were lit. Coming closer, he realised it was not a shop or a café, but an art gallery. The room was empty, safe for some metallic hooks and cords that hung from the ceiling; in the back he could see picture frames leaning against the plain walls. He had to take a second look before he recognised one of the photographs that was facing him. It surprised him, seeing that one here; he knew it, basically had been present when it was taken.

Kai didn't really think his next steps through. The sign on the door said the place was open, and he was just curious. What would one have to pay for Yuriy's photos by now? Surely the value must have risen. His ex had done some rather nice editorials over the past year, basically had been all over the world, too. With that in mind, he pushed the entrance door open and found himself standing in the middle of the empty gallery. There was the light sound of a bell when the door fell shut again, but nobody came. It seemed like people were talking further in the back. Maybe they had not heard him. Kai decided not to make himself known just now. Instead he started to look around.

The gallerist seemed to be a fan of Yuriy's work. All the pictures where his, as Kai noticed while slowly making his way across the room. He didn't dare touching anything, but he put two and two together. It seemed like he busted in while they were still figuring out the order in which they would put the pictures on the walls. Everything was unfinished, there was dust and some paper on the floor, probably from the packaging.

Then he noticed that the voices were coming closer. Maybe whoever was talking back there had finally become aware of him. There was the sound of footsteps approaching.

"I think we will be done tomorrow afternoon… Oh, I'm so sorry, Sir, I didn't hear you coming in." That sounded like an old man.

Kai turned around; he didn't want to seem rude. "No, I am sorry, I didn't want to -" He interrupted himself when he saw who was standing next to the white-haired gallerist.

Yuriy probably needed a second to recognise him. Kai was confused, too. Then the redhead smiled widely. "Kai! What a coincidence!" He came closer and Kai had to fight the urge to take a few steps back. "I'm really sorry", he repeated, "It was just… I just saw your pictures and got curious." His mouth felt dry for some reason as he took a closer look at him. Yuriy wore fitted jeans, a dark blue knitted sweater and a coat, a scarf poking out of his pocket. It was shockingly familiar to feel his presence again instead of just seeing him online.

"How are you?", Yuriy asked.

For a glimpse, Kai struggled for words. "Good", he finally said, "I'm selling the company. You?"

Yuriy vaguely gestured to their surroundings. "Well, I just rented this place to open a little gallery of sorts. It's cheaper than London - and I'm hoping for rich tourists", he added and gave him a wink. Kai tried to smile. "Seems like it worked. I'm here." Yuriy laughed, it was his rather quiet, short laugh, more like a chuckle, that Kai almost had forgotten.

"How long are you staying in Brighton?"

"Just until tomorrow", Kai said, "I have to go back to uni. Are you going back soon?"

Yuriy seemed surprised and Kai remembered that his ex didn't know he had started his Master programme.

The redhead put his hands in his pockets and just said: "I'm staying until Tuesday. We're having a small vernissage."

"Well, in that case I don't want to disturb you any longer. I'm sure you still have some work to do here."

Yuriy opened his mouth, but all he said was: "Okay", and Kai turned around to leave. Something drove him towards the exit and he had to force himself not to act like he was fleeing. As he touched the doorknob, Yuriy's voice called him back once more. "It was good to see you."

"Yeah. You, too."

Then he left, not noticing that Yuriy was looking after him for quite a few seconds until the gallerist coughed slightly to get back his attention.

* * *

Seeing Yuriy again had a bigger impact on Kai than he expected. He couldn't stop thinking about their encounter for days, even after his return to the capital.

And there he thought he was over him.

Their breakup hadn't been overly dramatic. Nevertheless it had been hard to establish new daily routines without Yuriry. They never had lived together - a fact that Kai was glad about now - each had their own circle of friends and they both had gone out on their own on a regular basis. Still it had been strange not to be with him most of the time. Max, Rei, and Takao all tried to cheer him up, even offered to visit him, but somehow that never happened. Kai wasn't mad about it; instead, he did the same thing as usual and dealt with his heartbreak on his own - except for when Takao called, of course. That had helped, but it hadn't been enough.

The first three months had passed and he was barely functioning: finishing his Bachelor studies, working on the side, moving out of the student dorm into his own flat. There he had sat one night, surrounded by not-yet empty boxes, and had scrolled through his social media feed. A photo of Yuriy and another person Kai didn't know had appeared: they were putting an arm around the redhead. He looked happy in that picture. Kai, however, had started crying and was unable to stop for nearly an hour.

After that, he slowly went back to normal, started going out again, even said yes when he was asked out. His dates never lasted longer than a few weeks, though. It was the same with Yuriy, at least until he started dating Inés. Kai didn't know whether his ex knew what was going on in his life, or if Yuriy even looked at his posts. They never reacted to whatever the other was putting out there. Until now, that had been perfectly fine with Kai. But during the past days he began noticing that he still missed Yuriy. He did not necessarily miss him as a lover, more as a friend.

He caught himself staring at his phone more often, as if he was waiting for something that would never come. People usually didn't text him because he never answered. Whenever he unlocked the screen, however, his fingers were tingling with anticipation, and he felt disappointed every time the notification bar was empty. Maybe, he thought, it was his task to make the first step.

He was standing in the middle of the supermarket, right next to the freezers, when he threw all cautions to the wind. Instead of putting his phone away as he had done until now, he opened the messenger. Looking at the chat with Yuriy, he winced: he had never deleted their last messages, which were from more than one year ago. They had talked about returning the keys they possessed from each others places. Kai briefly shook his head, as if to banish the memories, and started typing.

_How was the vernissage?_ That was all.

The answer came too quickly. At the checkout, he glanced at his phone again, and there it was: _Good, I already sold a few pictures :)_

_Congratulations,_ Kai replied, _Are you back to London, yet?_

_Yes, for a few days now, actually._

And then: _I'm going to stay for a while. Got a few commissions coming up._

Kai didn't really know how to respond. God, he was bad at texting. So he just typed: _Sounds good._

After that, his phone remained silent.

* * *

Yuriy was surprised about Kai's message. Admittedly, he had waited for a text or something, even picked up his own phone and started typing but then ended up doing nothing. He just didn't know if Kai wanted to talk to him again, or if he even wanted it himself.

When they met, the constant flow of Yuriy's thoughts about appointments, commissions, and, yes, private dates, had come to a sudden hold. It had yet to pick up its normal pace again. At first, he couldn't believe it was really Kai who was standing in front of him, even though his ex hadn't changed much. He didn't remember what he was wearing that day - it was a dark jacket, right? Kai's eyes, however, he remembered. It had hurt him, seeing that expression on his face again: searching, cautious, but also dismissive. Not that long ago, Yuriy had been one of the few people that Kai gave up that look for.

On the same day that Kai finally texted him, Inés stood him up. Her message came around lunch: _I'm going to stay in Oslo a bit longer, sorry, I'll make up for it, XO_ As usual he didn't bother answering right away. Yes, they were dating for a few months now, but actually they only saw each other once every two weeks or so. It was okay for Yuriy; they both were busy with work. Travelling so much was probably also a reason why they were somewhat exclusive - there just wasn't enough time for anything on the side. He liked seeing Inés but for him it wasn't serious; they never talked about things like that.

A few hours later Yuriy was sitting in his favorite coffee shop and worked through his emails. Now and then he scrolled through the social media timeline on his phone. Inés had posted some selfies at work in Oslo. She looked a bit silly in the dresses, but she was professional enough to act like the stuff was haute couture. Yuriy was about to give a like to one of the photos when Kai's message popped up. His thumb hovered over the display for a second, then he grinned.

Their first conversation had ended in awkwardness, but Yuriy didn't solely blame Kai on that. He himself didn't communicate much if it wasn't for work. Yes, Boris called ever so often, and everytime that happened they actually ended up sitting in their respective kitchens, getting tipsy on vodka shots to loosen their tongues. It worked, somehow.

In the evening, he found himself alone as usual, eating some take-out while sitting at the kitchen table. He was bored. On normal days, this would be the time to brainstorm new concepts or do some editing, but today he felt rather uninspired, so he just finished early. Apparently his brain needed a break.

His phone was laying right next to him on the table. He eyed it while eating. Then he just grabbed it and unlocked the screen. The chat with Kai was at the top of his list; before he could decide against it, he started typing: _Btw, how was business in Brighton?_ Then he put his phone away. It was Friday night; other people probably had more adventurous plans than him.

His phone vibrated, the display showing a message from Kai. With another buzz, a second one followed.

_Quick and easy, I'm glad it went so well. __How are you?_

Yuriy leaned back and picked up his phone again. For a moment he just sat there, not knowing what to answer. Finally, he typed a few words and pushed send. Instead of locking the display after that, he waited. Sure enough, the blinking icon that showed that Kai was texting back appeared.

Some time later Yuriy walked over to the living room and put on the tv. He wasn't paying attention, though, because his eyes were glued to his phone's display. This time, their chat lasted for quite a while, the messages shooting back and forth, becoming more and more informal. Sometimes, Yuriy couldn't help but smile.

* * *

It seemed like the spell that had lasted for more than a year was broken thereafter. As October ticked away, Yuriy and Kai kept on texting each other about everything and nothing.

_Did you know Mao is pregnant?_, Kai asked on a Monday.

_Sergeij and Natalia are coming to London in January_, Yuriy told him on a Wednesday.

...

_Is Boris still unbearable?_

_He isn't acting more adult, if that is what you're asking._

...

_So one of my customers just broke her leg. We had to do a nude shot with her wearing a cast._

_You really should specialise on that :D_

_Yeah, maybe I can fill a market niche!_

...

Sometimes they didn't hear from each other for half a day or so, but at some point one of them always continued their conversation. During the first two weeks Kai told Yuriy that Soichiro died shortly after they had broken up, how he went back to Japan for a while to deal with everything, and how he tried to get rid of Hiwatari Enterprises since then while at the same time completing his studies. Yuriy on the other hand had travelled the world for various projects and had been the wedding photographer of quite a number of celebrities and members of British aristocracy (Johnny McGregor's cousin for example; he found that out when running into the Gladiator of Glasgow himself on said occasion). He had stopped doing the weddings, though, as he only had agreed to that to make a quick coin.

* * *

October came to and end, and it was time for Halloween. Contrary to his habits, Kai attended a party. It was anti-costume, so he was fine with going out. Before he left the house, he took a few selfies, because why not. He looked damn good in that shirt!

At the party, he found some philosophy students and listened to their quarrel about Marxist theories while slowly getting more and more tipsy. At some point, he got up to go to the bathroom, where he took a look in the mirror. He gave himself a mental pet on the back for his outfit tonight. It was really too good for just sitting around and drinking. Until now he hadn't seen anyone that would spark his interest. With his body slightly swaying from side to side - he really should call it a night soon - he pulled out his phone and changed his Facebook profile picture with a few clicks. At least he wouldn't be the only one now to admire his looks.

The next morning, Kai woke up with a headache. He glanced at his phone to find out what time it was when he realised he had quite a few notifications. Some thirty people had liked his new profile picture, and he was mildly surprised about that. In the Bladebreaker's group chat, it was big news.

_Hide your kids, hide your wives, and hide your husbands - Kai is ready to roll, y'all!_

_Max, that is SO wrong!_

_Shut up, Rei, Kai will get the meme! Right, Kai?_

Kai snorted and continued scrolling through his timeline. Mathilda and Giulia were having brunch in Madrid. Olivier posted pictures of the costumes he was doing for his shows as Olivia Emerald. Michael and Eddie were at a baseball game.

Then a new message popped up: it was from Takao. _Hiromi said that Yuriy liked your profile picture. Are you guys talking again?_

Kai needed a few seconds to get the full meaning of that. Frowning, he switched to his picture again, and behold, Takao was right. That was all, though; it was just a like.

_Tell Hiromi to stop stalking me_, he texted back, and then, after some hesitation: _And yes, we are. You can keep that a secret for now, right?_

Takao's answer was a simple _D:!_, and Kai didn't really know what to make of that.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to all of you who read this story so far! I hope you will enjoy the second chapter as well - while the first chapter has been beta'd now, the following hasn't yet! I will replace the document as soon as it's done :)

* * *

**2 - November**

_So my professor is sick and nobody thought about sending me an email. Great_.

Yuriy snorted at Kai's message. He was sitting in the coffee shop again, because somehow it was easier for him to concentrate with the slight buzzing of people around. Today, however, there was not much left to do and he was starting to get bored. So much for cutting back on working hours; he never thought about what to do in his newly emerged freetime.

Rather spontaneously he texted back: _I am nearby. Wanna join me for a coffee?_

Some 15 minutes later Kai was there. He was wearing a coat - one that Yuriy had seen on him before; in fact, the sight of Kai startled him a bit because it was so familiar - and a thick scarf that hid the lower half of his face. It took a while for him to make his way through the crowded room, but finally he was standing in front of Yuriy.

Yuriy had to fight the urge to give him a hug. He blamed their frequent chats, because it made him feel like they never had been on a break, at least as friends. Kai took off his coat and suddenly Yuriy noticed his scent - he still used the same fragrance.

"I need something warm", Kai said, "Do you want another drink?"

Yuriy picked up his empty cup. "I'm coming with you."

They queued up with the other people, most of them just getting a coffee-to-go after lunch. Both of them were a bit hesitant to start a conversation, but whenever their eyes met they smiled at each other. They each paid for their own drink, then they went back to Yuriy's table at the window. Outside, people were going up and down the street, their breaths visible in the cold air, even though the sun was shining. The trees were almost bare.

"So tell me about that seminar you're missing now", Yuriy started.

Kai put his hands around his cup to warm his still numb fingers. "It's Old Church Slavonic."

"I didn't know Old Church Slavonic was part of the MBA."

"It's not. I additionally chose Slavonic studies to compensate for all the business stuff."

"To compensate… I see." Yuriy grinned; it suited Kai to enrol in more than one field of study. He never met with Soichiro's wishes to study law; instead he had started with politics and economics. Yuriy had asked him why he hadn't chosen history, but Kai always saw that as a hobby he didn't want to ruin for himself by taking it too seriously.

Kai rolled his eyes at Yuriy's expression. "So what are you doing to relax? Yoga?"

"Well, I find weddings pretty relaxing after a few months of travelling around for editorials…"

"So you're still always busy."

Yuriy looked away. "It's not that bad anymore. I'm getting paid better for the commissions now, and there are a few magazines that basically take everything I offer them. And, well… I'm thinking about buying my own space."

"You mean… a house?" Kai's voice rose with surprise. Inés came to his mind - did Yuriy want to settle down with her?

The answer proved him wrong: "I want my own studio. It's cheaper in the long run. Also, I want to specialise in portraits a bit more, so it's not the worst idea to have my own space. Right now I'm renting, and that's getting more and more expensive."

Kai crossed his arms, his mind switching to business mode. "Hm. Buying is probably not the worst idea right now, with the crisis and everything. I bet you can make a bargain if you're smart, which you are. I'm just not sure if real estate is the best kind of investment."

"Ha, you know best, right? You're the one selling houses right now."

"I'm not doing it for profit, I just want to get rid of all this stuff."

Yuriy shook his head. "Typical. Hey, you don't happen to own a house in London that I can have?"

"No. I mean, yes, I own real estate in London, but that's the headquarters in the Docklands, so I can't give it away." Kai hesitated, then he smirked. "But I can give you a loan, if you are willing to be financially dependent on me."

Yuriy shrugged. "If you're serious, I'll think about it. I'll rather be dependent on you instead of a bank right now."

"Deal." Kai's eyebrows went up as he shot a mischievous glance at Yuriy. He could be witty, it mostly showed in little remarks or barely noticeable facial expressions; Yuriy knew what to look for, and he felt something fuzzy and warm building up inside as he watched Kai. They couldn't look each other in the eye for more than a second, but they enjoyed the company nevertheless. It was easy to continue from where they started a few weeks back with their texts.

"So, do you come here often?", Kai asked, "I mean, I had coffee here before, uni is just around the corner."

"Well, yes, actually. I can walk from home, and the studio isn't too far away, either. I'm basically working here every Thursday - funny that we haven't met here before, isn't it?"

"Ah, I was working at the headquarters on Thursdays last semester. But now that the new executive board has taken over, I just have to get rid of all the redundant parts of the company. Funnily enough, I can do that from home."

Yuriy nodded and swayed his cup to catch all the milk foam that stuck to the porcelain with the rest of his coffee. Then he looked up to muster Kai, who was watching the people outside. His sweater, Yuriy noticed, was a bit too large. After their sports careers had ended, Kai had tried to keep up with his old training habits, but quickly had to accept that his schedule didn't allow for spending hours and hours at the gym, so he had gotten slimmer over the years. Yuriy still found him attractive; he would never deny that.

They sat in comfortable silence for a while, enjoying each other's presence, until Kai stirred, glancing at his watch. "Alright. I have to go to the library, so…"

"Okay", Yuriy said and got up with Kai to say good-bye. Kai put on his coat and they exchanged an awkward look, however, they both were pleased that they had met up today.

Kai spoke first. "It was nice seeing you again."

"Yeah…" Yuriy pulled himself together. "Maybe we can repeat that sometime?"

"Hn. Thursday?"

He shrugged tentatively. "Sure, why not?"

* * *

Having a coffee together on Thursdays became a regular thing for them. They met in the afternoon, when they were done with most of their work and uni, and spend a few hours together. They talked more or less constantly via text messages, too, but avoided coming too close to discussing their relationship or even the breakup.

During the last days of November, the Christmas lights were set up everywhere and it wouldn't be long until Winter Wonderland in Hyde Park opened. In the coffeeshop there was now Christmas Jazz added to the background noise, and it soon became familiar. Yuriy and Kai both didn't grow up with a lot of holiday traditions, so they mostly ignored all the hassle and just enjoyed the vibes. For Yuriy, the end of the year meant more requests for work, but he only took the ones that he deemed fitting; moreover, he never booked out Thursday afternoons.

* * *

"Did Inés break up with you?"

The question hit him unprepared; Yuriy was standing in his kitchen stirring his food while talking to Boris on the phone. "What gives you that idea?"

"Ivan follows her on Instagram, and apparently there is a new guy in all of her recent posts."

Now that he mentioned, Yuriy really hadn't heard from her in a while.

"You know, we've never been together for real in the first place", he explained, "It is what it is. I think she might've been a bit unhappy."

"But why? Wasn't it...satisfying for her?"

Yuriy rolled his eyes, he knew exactly what Boris was hinting at. Of course it hadn't been satisfying for her, their sex life had barely been existent. Yuriy blamed himself for that: To him, sex wasn't as important as for other people. He liked touching the people he was into, and being touched as well, but for him it lacked almost all erotic implications. Yes, there was the occasional urge for satisfaction, too, but that also didn't necessarily have anything to do with a significant other. Sex was something he did for the person he liked, nothing he needed for himself. With his mind constantly occupied with work, he often even saw it as another task to check off his list. That always led to arguments, even though he tried to explain it to his dates early on; ever so often it was a reason to break up.

He had fought with Kai about that, too. Contrary to what most people probably thought, their sex life hadn't been overly adventurous, but they always made sure to spend enough time on that. There were many more reasons why they broke up - or at least Yuriy hoped there were. He wasn't always so sure about that.

It had taken a few months for Yuriy to get over Kai, he hadn't really taken the time to make up his mind after their break up. Instead, grief came over him in the most inappropriate situations. To make money, he had agreed to be the wedding photographer of some kind of celebrity. That one commission had led to a string of other wedding photoshoots, which paid well but were the last thing he needed at that time. Still, it helped him immensely to make a name for himself, and he wouldn't be where he was now hadn't he agreed to do this.

"You still there?", Boris asked and Yuriy made a grumbling noise.

"You know, Inés and me - that wasn't serious", he said. "I'm totally fine with her dating someone else now. So you guys can stop stalking her."

His best friend sighed. "That's not how we'll get you back into a relationship, Yura."

* * *

"Look, now they're putting pictures on our coffee." Yuriy sat down on the sofa next to Kai and handed him a cup. Indeed, there was a star made of cinnamon on top of the milk foam. Kai snorted and pulled out his phone. "Hold that, I have to take a picture. That's so my aesthetic."

"Are you going to put that on Instagram?" Amused, Yuriy did as Kai told.

"I don't have that, just Facebook. I'm putting in a hashtag anyways - how about merrychristmasfuckers?"

"It's perfect." He patiently waited for Kai to take the picture before he leaned back and put an elbow on the backrest, turning his body towards the other. His arm almost touched Kai's shoulder. "So. Any plans for the weekend?"

"Nothing, really." Kai finished posting and took a sip from his cup. "Write papers. Sleep. Watch Sherlock."

"Wait, you've never seen Sherlock?"

"Not the second season, a friend of mine downloaded it somewhere and gave it to me. Judging from your reaction, you already know it?"

Yuriy nodded. "Yeah, I watched it right when it was aired." It had been a perfect distraction from their breakup. "The first season was better, though, as usual. You have to tell me how you liked it when you're done."

"Don't you dare give me any spoilers!" Kai looked at him threatening, but Yuriy didn't even flinch. Instead, he held up one hand and put the other on his chest theatrically. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

"Mischief managed", Kai replied.

They ended up leaving the Café at the same time, which happened pretty seldomly. Outside they almost got run over by pedestrians already in a hurry to do their Christmas shopping.

"Are you taking the underground?", Yuriy asked and Kai nodded. His stop was not far away, as was Yuriy's flat, but they would head into opposite directions.

"Alright", the redhead said, "See you next week?"

"Until next Thursday, then." Kai smiled.

Despite having said good-bye, they remained as they were. Kai looked at Yuriy and hesitated for a second. "Ah, what the hell!", he exclaimed and hugged Yuriy, who was too surprised to not hug him back instinctively. His eyes fell shut for a moment as he pulled Kai closer. It was just so familiar.

* * *

_Did you see what happened with you post?_

Kai had just finished the second episode of Sherlock when he received Yuriy's message. Frowning, he typed an answer: _What do you mean, what happened?_

_You never check your notifications, are you?_

Well that wasn't necessarily true, but Kai had indeed ignored the little icon in the top corner of his display for a while. Yuriy wasn't helping at all, so he switched to Facebook, his eyes widened slightly as he read through the comments on his picture from the coffeeshop the other day. The first ones were still pretty innocent, just a few laughs about the hashtag he invented, but then it got a little out of hand.

It was Giulia Fernandez who had started it all: _Looks like your date has very beautiful hands, Kai._

Some other people reacted to that, and because Kai never answered to any of them, it blew up a bit.

Olivier: _You're right, Giulia! Who is your mysterious sweetheart, Kai?_

Mao: _Oooh, congratulations! Tell us more, so we can welcome them to the family :)_

Max: _WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL UUUUUSSSS? :(_

Even Sergeij must have had a good day: _A shame we don't live together anymore, I would love to have another tribunal._ (A few years back he was living with the Russian team, and when Yuriy brought him home first he had to endure a throughout interrogation called the "tribunal". Apparently, it took place whenever one of them introduced a significant other.)

He sighed, it was too late now to make things right. He could tell them it wasn't a date and cause even more rumours. And if he told them he was meeting up with Yuriy, and on a regular basis… Takao's Galaxy Storm was a breeze compared to what would happen then, to say the least. Their breakup hadn't been in public or even online, but all former bladers eventually knew what had happened, probably thanks to everyone talking to each other, them being like one huge family and whatnot. It was big news, because apart from Rei and Mao, Kai and Yuriy had been together the longest.

Kai re-opened the chat with Yuriy, ignoring the action that was taking place on the TV screen. _Even Seryoga didn't recognise you. Should I say something?_

_Do what you want, it's your post._

_Meh. Too much work._

_:D _

Kai smirked and looked back at the TV. He must've missed a key scene because suddenly the plot seemed all over the place.

His phone lit up again. _I just got a request for next Thursday that I would really like to take. Do you mind meeting me on Tuesday instead?_

_I have to be in uni until six on Tuesdays. What do you have in mind?_

_I don't know yet, tbh. What about taking a walk in the park? I can pick you up._

Eventually, Kai said yes and told him where he could find him. It wasn't the first time Yuriy picked him up from uni, so he probably remembered where he had to go.

* * *

When Kai left the university building, he spotted Yuriy immediately. It was almost like a déjà vu, seeing him waiting like that. They hugged again, which now felt less awkward than last time.

"Can we go to a Christmas market or something?", Kai asked, and he knew he did not sound like himself. "I just had a fight with one of my professors, and of course she won. I need a drink now, preferably cheap, sweet, and boozy."

Yuriy didn't ask any further questions, instead he led him right to the next Christmas market, where they found some eggnog and a tiny table a few metres away from the crowds.

"Do you want to talk about it?", Yuriy asked when they finally settled.

Kai shook his head. "No, it doesn't matter anyway. How about you tell me about your day?"

"Oh, it was just a normal day, you know. Let's see… a model who I hired stood me up last minute because she got a better offer. One of the magazines I'm working with took only eight instead of the twelve shots they promised, because they had to make room for another article. Oh, and Rick Anderson found out about my secret folder with the tournament photos just now."

"Hold on, you mean the folder that Takao 'accidentally' shared with almost everybody years ago? Which tournament was that, the one of 2005?"

"Exactly. Nobody ever bothered to divulge the secret to Rick. Apparently Max finally tripped his tongue a few days back, and now Rick sent me a bloody novel of a message as if it was all my fault. Also, he made fun of my hair and choice of clothes."

"Which, as we know, were the worst", Kai said and took another sip. Yuriy opened his mouth to retaliate; he stopped short because what he actually wanted to say was "Well, it didn't keep you from falling in love with me." It was not the right time for remarks like that. Instead, he just smiled and subtly changed topics: "So, should we continue your photo series of mysterious guy holding drinks?"

Kai grimaced. "To be honest, I think I've wrecked enough havoc the first time. But I'll gladly be your hand model if you want me to."

"Sure, my many fans should know I'm hanging out at the Christmas market like normal people." Yuriy took a snapshot of their sticky mugs. "I need a hashtag, though, how about deathbyeggnog… By the way, how do you like Sherlock?" If that sudden change of topics again irritated Kai, Yuriy didn't notice; he was still occupied with his phone while posting the picture. He already began to feel a bit tipsy because he was drinking on an empty stomach.

"Ah, I'm not done yet, I'm missing the last episode", Kai admitted.

"What? But the finale is the best part!" Yuriy raised his arm and pointed somewhere behind Kai with his phone. "Go home and watch it, now! I won't talk to you before you do it!"

"Okay, let's go then!", Kai said loudly. Yuriy looked at him dumbfounded, but Kai didn't want to back down now. What the hell, they were friends, it was normal to hang out at home! "Come on, we'll watch it together. It'll be fun!"

Eventually, Yuriy ended up visiting Kai's new place that night. He looked around curiously, while Kai went to the kitchenette. "Make yourself at home, I think I have wine somewhere…"

It was a one-room apartment, though a pretty modern one with big windows and a recess for the bed. The furnishing was sparse but tasteful, typically Kai. Yuriy sat down on the sofa that was standing in the middle of the room and facing a pretty big flat screen TV. Kai came back with two glasses and a wine bottle and plopped down next to him. "Alright, let's do this!"

Yuriy did not make it through the episode. The wine made his limbs feel heavy; it had been a long day after all. Moreover, he was so damn comfortable in Kai's presence. That was unusual; he didn't trust people enough to let himself go like that. Only Boris, Sergeij, and Ivan were the exceptions from that rule, and Kai used to be, too, even before they got together. Apparently, that never had changed. He felt his eyelids drooping and didn't have enough energy to open them again.

Kai only noticed that Yuriy was asleep when the end credits started to roll and he turned towards him to make a comment. For a second he just stared: Yuriy never moved much while sleeping. He had put his head on the armrest and his legs slightly curled in. Kai could barely hear him breathing. He thought about waking him up but quickly decided against it; instead, he went to fetch a blanket.

The next morning Yuriy woke up with a headache and a stiff neck. Slowly he sat up and put his hands on his temples.

"Well, good morning to you, Sir."

He opened his eyes: Kai was leaning on the backrest, looking down at him. His hair was a mess and he seemed a bit tired from their night-out as well.  
"Good morning", Yuriy mumbled. "Uh. Sorry for falling asleep. I'm sure you didn't mean that when you said make yourself at home."

"Oh, in that case I hope you have a real bed at your place and don't have to sleep on the couch. Coffee?"

Yuriy rubbed his face. "Yes please." Then he watched as Kai went back to the kitchenette. He was only wearing underwear and a shirt. That sight confused Yuriy, because it brought back memories of the two of them having lazy Sunday breakfasts. He turned away and glanced at his phone. Not only was it pretty late, his notifications had gone through the roof over night. "My god, I got twenty comments and five messages, all because of that photo I posted yesterday."

"Don't people have things to do?" Kai handed him a cup and sat down next to him, pulling his legs up on the couch.

Yuriy scrolled through the comments. "They thought you were a woman, but apparently somebody took a closer look eventually. Nobody is making the connection, though." He quickly messaged Boris back but avoided mentioning Kai - it only would make things unnecessarily complicated.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Yuriy took a shy look around, taking in his surroundings. Here and there he saw things that he remembered from when Kai had lived in the dorm. A picture, a small bookshelf. Dranzer was lying in a glass cabinet. He repressed a wistful sigh; all that brought back too many memories. Coming to another country hadn't been easy for them, but as soon as their papers had been in order they could manage the rest. Their relationship had endured through all the ups and downs, but broke away as soon as they got used to their new lives. How ironic.

His thoughts then drifted away to Inés and how she just opted for another person when he couldn't give her what she needed. Quick and easy. He even felt relieve because it hadn't been complicated at all. On the other hand, this lack of commitment somehow felt wrong. With Kai, it had been different; but then again it was always different with him.

"Hey, can I ask you something?", Yuriy started rather spontaneously.

Kai just looked at him questionly.

"Uhm, so when we broke up… Was sex a reason for you to do it?"

Kai took a moment to think about his answer. "Yes, it was", he finally said. "But it was not the main reason. I mean, you know I like sex. When it comes to relationships, it is important to me..."

"I see..."

"Don't get me wrong, though. I liked being with you. And I'm sure, if sex had been the only reason, we'd still be together, because we would've found a way to make it work for both of us."

They looked at each other and suddenly Yuriy had the urge to touch Kai. He always had loved that - hugging him, put his head on his shoulder and just feel his body, his warm skin.

Kai jolted him out of his thoughts. "So, if you really want to know why I think we broke up… It was our careers. You became this great artist and I had to excel in my studies - there was just no room for us. Even when we manage to meet up for a date, I never knew what I would get from you. And I started to wonder if it would just continue like this for forever. I didn't want that kind of relationship."

Yuriy nodded. "I thought I would miss something. You know that I haven't been in many relationship before we got together. I just didn't know what I wanted - or even what I liked."

"I had the same feeling", Kai said, looking away. "But honestly, I'm not sure if it was worth it. There are a lot of weird people out there - and that coming from me says something!"

"Amen", Yuriy replied, and they shared a little laughter. But when he turned towards Kai again, Yuriy saw just a hint of sadness in his eyes; the same sadness that he felt, too.

"Well… seems like that last year really did something to us, right?", Kai said.

"Yeah. Seems like it."


End file.
